Meeting a Movie Star

What can I say? I’m a sucker for junk e-mail (as noted in my adventures with Yuki) when it’s well written and mildly interesting, and luckily for you all, I got another interesting one to my cell phone today. It’s not so much the fact that it’s spam, or that someone’s trying to rip me off, oh no. It’s how elaborate people have gotten to write these stories. And, most of all, what’s interesting for me is how different these e-mails wind up being compared to the American/Western junk mail I’m used to.

Note: This is all translated from Japanese, so some things may sound off.

So.. without further ado, I introduce you to Aya!

From: cp.r.3032@ezweb.ne.jp

Subject: Untitled

I’m sorry for the sudden e-mail. I was introduced to you by a person you know very well. I’d cause a lot of problems for them, so please forgive me, but I can’t tell you their name yet.

I work in management at a certain talent agency. I’m currently managing a talent*, someone who’s probably known to anyone nationwide.

So, let’s take a look at what we know so far:

  • We were introduced “by a person,” but they can’t say who.
  • They work at a “certain talent agency” (the Japanese word is one you’d use to describe a “name brand” or something, implying something everyone would know)
  • They manage a “talent” (a Japanese catch-all term for models, actors, and celebrities) that’s famous (and again, no name).

As you’ll notice shortly, it doesn’t get any more descriptive than this.

Let’s continue on for a little more in-depth information!

They’ve been really exhausted lately with magazine and television interviews and the program publicity of appearing on television. They seem pretty torn up emotionally.

The reason why I contacted you so suddenly now is because the talent themselves really wants to talk with you. I completely understand that doing something like this is no good and pushy, but I’m hoping that they’d be a little bit happier, so I thought I’d like to ask for your advice, which is why I’m contacting you.

Wait, let me get this straight: A celebrity is depressed and wants to meet little old me to cheer up and feel better? Well, where do I sign up!?

You’ll notice that, in addition to being vague, no gender is mentioned. This is pretty easy to do in Japanese (you rarely mention “he” or “she”), but I think they’re being vague so they can appeal to men and women alike. That’s new, at least!

The phone I’m using now is watched closely by the office, and it’d be a huge problem as a manager if something like this came out, so I hope you could e-mail my phone directly. I sorry to cause you such a hassle, but could we please talk?

aya.s.fair-rt9@ezweb.ne.jp

I’m waiting for your reply.

Aya

 

What could possibly go wrong??, I can almost hear you ask. Oh, you silly little optimist.

First off, the reason why they’re using a second e-mail address is probably the same reason why most e-mail spam uses a different address in the body: The sender address is either faked, or they expect it to be blocked soon.

Second, I’ve e-mailed them, but there’s been no reply yet. I suspect they’re going to tell me that the idol is a member of a website (not good at using the internet, doesn’t have an e-mail address), and they only way to contact each other is by joining it. You see, they lay the ground work here by the manager (Aya) talking about being monitored.

We’ll see how it goes, and if anything exciting comes up, I’ll be sure to post it. For now, it’s time for me to go to bed. Been a loooong week.

Later!

Original Japanese e-mail below (for those who are interested):

突然ご連絡差し上げて申し訳ありません。
あなたがよくご存じの、ある方のご紹介で、ご連絡させて頂いております。
その方にご迷惑がかかるため、今はまだ名前をお伝え出来ないことをお許しください。
私は某芸能事務所にてマネージメント業務を行っております。
今担当してるのは国民的とも言える、多分皆さんご存知のタレントです。
ここ最近本人が雑誌やテレビでの取材、番宣目的での番組出演などで非常に疲れており、精神的に病んでしまっているようなのです。
今回突然ご連絡をさせて頂いたのは、タレント本人の希望でどうしてもあなたとお話したいとの事です。
当然本来こんなことはNGですし、押しつけがましいお願いになってしまうのは重々承知ではございますが、本人が少しでも元気になってくれるならばと思い、あなたにご相談に乗って頂ければ。とご連絡させて頂きました。
私が今連絡をとっている携帯ですが、事務所に厳重に管理されているため、この事がばれてしまうとマネージャーとして大問題になってしまいますので、私の携帯に直接ご連絡頂ければと思います。お手数をお掛けして申し訳御座いませんが、お話だけでも聞いて頂けないでしょうか?
aya.s.fair-rt9@ezweb.ne.jp
ご連絡、お待ち申し上げております。

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