Juxtaposed in Japan
Sunday, May 31st

I'm finally a licensed driver in Japan!


Well, let's just say that the Japanese driving test managed to personally crush any sense of self-esteem and self-worth that I may have at one point possessed. Took the test on Wednesday (failed), Thursday (failed), Tuesday (failed), Thursday (failed) and Friday (passed). The failure? That was hard. But mixing that with having to wake up at 6:30am, work until 9pm, pay $24 to test each time and drive an hour each way, that made it a rather miserable week.

Why did I fail? Sometimes for some decent reasons. I ran over the yellow line marking a turn lane from a through lane. A wheel went off the curb on the S-curve (though, in my defense, I don't know anyone in Japan who drives a huge car like the one I tested in, nor do I know of any S-shaped streets). Etc. The best one, though, was: "You need to be closer to the curb when you turn." I was failed because I wasn't close enough to the curb? Now that's just insane.

Through all my failures, though, the guy who does all the paperwork and testing stuff would come up and take time to try to give me advice on how to improve. I imagine I must've looked pretty devastated at one point, because he patted me on the arm (not really common in Japan) and told me to not give up, that he knows I can do it, and he has faith in me. It was a creepy father-son moment with the Japanese DMV guy. But.. hey, it was nice of him.

On my fifth try, I actually think I did pretty well, though as per usual they had some charming criticism to let me know what I could do better. But what was strange (and never happened before) is that the front desk guy ran up and had a personal chat with the guy who gave me the driving test. And that's the day I passed. I think I did well that time, though I also wonder if he had something to do with it and spoke on my behalf. Honestly.. I don't really care. I'm now a licensed driver in Japan.

I'll scan a copy of my license soon. I already have a picture, but I need to remove important info before uploading it to the internet (full name and stuff).

What else have I been up to? Didn't have much time this week, as I had to work late and wake up early, but I've been trying to fit studying in during the day, here and there. Also, today I went out to meet the girl from last weekend again. We went out to a local 'firefly festival' in a small town near here, got terribly lost on the way (the town is in the middle of nowhere) and then stayed for the small town festival for 3 or so hours (they had a magic show and stuff until it got late, then everyone walked to the river to watch fireflies). It sounds pretty simple (and it was), but it was a lot of fun. I think we're meeting up again tomorrow to go to an island near here and then head to the top of a mountain to look at the city. Should be interesting, though I need to get some time in to study.

As of Tuesday, I'll have officially been away from America for a year straight (I'd say 1 year in Japan, but I went to Korea for a week, so we'll settle for 1 year living in Japan). It's kinda weird to be away like that, from the culture and everything you've grown up with, but I'm relatively happy here, which I suppose is what counts. The only weird thing is the age when I moved here, and all the firsts that I've come to do in Japan and not in America (having to really get fitted for a suit, attend a high school graduation, make restaurant reservations, buying my own glasses next month, negotiating contracts, etc). Strange also that I no longer need to carry my US license anymore (I've carried a US ID since I was.. 14? 15 or so).

Though I admit I feel lonely from time to time, I think it'd be the same no matter where I lived. And I do have people I'm close to here, even in Japan, which was especially helpful during the murderous driving test week.

Anyway, that's about as exciting as my life gets. I'll write more sometime soon as the adventure continues!
Posted by Jason Jason on 05.31.09 @ 00:09 JST [link] [comment]


Monday, May 25th

Holla back, yo.


Hmm.. where to begin. I took the driving test last week, which means I have to leave my house at 7:30am, drive a hour and a half, and then take a written test (in English). The written test is quite possibly the easiest thing I've done in awhile, seeing as it had some questions like "If the speed limit is posted as 40km/h, I can drive up to 40km/h. True or False?" They even had pictures, in case that was too hard for me to wrap my mind around. So, I aced the writing test.

The driving test? I failed. Hardcore. I thought I did pretty well, but it turns out that you need to hug the curb when you drive in Japan. And you need to jerk your neck in each direction obnoxiously when checking if something's safe to proceed. So I went back the next day and only had to take the driving test. Failed again. I got too close to the curb in an obstacle course S-curve and went over it. The man, with no trace of irony, told me I should practice. Now.. exactly how many S-curve roads have you driven on that are wide enough for only 1 car? Never seen one in my life..

So, I'm going to take it again on Tuesday. Let's pray I'm done, because I really hate this hour and a half drive and $25 fee just to drive all the way back home with nothing to show for it.

But hey.. enough of being negative (you're lucky I opted to not write on Thursday after failure #2. I was not a happy camper). I didn't get a chance to study with my coworker this weekend because she went to Tokyo, but by some odd twist of fate I met two people this weekend that I could hang out with over the weekend. What're the odds?

The first person contacted me on a Japanese networking site and told me she's been living in America for 5 years, would be back in her hometown (where I live) for summer break, and wanted to meet. Sure, why not! Did I ask why? Of course not. How do people seem to find me? Who knows! I had nothing else to do this weekend, and it's not like I know a whole bunch of people. So, we met at a coffee shop and ended up talking for 4-5 hours before making plans to meet again on Sunday to go to a movie.

Sunday comes and we go to "Angels and Demons" (the sequel to "The Da Vinci Code", I hear), which wasn't altogether a bad movie. After living in the city for nearly a year, I'd never actually gone to the movie theater ($16 for a movie? Uh.. I'll rent something for $1.50, thanks, and watch it at my convenience). I've been in it many times, but I never bothered to watch anything. So anyway, we watched the movie, went to a restaurant in the mall, and talked for another 4 hours before taking her back home. Busy day.

And THEN, I had dinner plans about an hour and a half later with another person. I was introduced to the other person through a student of mine, and we exchanged e-mails and all that stuff. So, met her, her twin sister, and her twin sister's husband for dinner. Over all really great people, though I felt a bit out of my element as they are into the hip-hop scene, and I can't tell my hip from my hop. When someone asks you what "holla back" means, you know you're in an interesting position. But it was nice, fun, and we talked for 3 hours or so about various things.

That would bring up pretty much up to speed with my life, at least as far as I know (people tend to not tell me important stuff, so I could be married, independently wealthy, or homeless and no one's bothered to inform me yet). Been pretty sociable this weekend, though I need to get down to studying now.

Tomorrow, I pick up my new visa (had to get it renewed so I'm not here illegally). With luck, I managed to get a 3 year visa and won't have to worry about renewal, sponsorship, leaving the country, or anything for the next 3 years. Let's hope!

Good luck, and don't have too much fun without me!
Posted by Jason Jason on 05.25.09 @ 00:25 JST [link] [comment]


Tuesday, May 12th

Taco Bell sells WHAT?!

Current Sounds: The sounds of traffic as people drive by

jason_hiroshima-52009 (112k image)
jason_hiroshima-52009

What's that? You're greeted not just with an awesome photo of me. Oh no.. but an awesome photo of me in front of the Atomic Dome in Hiroshima! Actually, I need to get around to replacing the opening photo (the one at the top) with this, but I figured until I get around with that, I'd upload it here because.. well.. I can.

Here in Japan, we have week-long holiday (at the beginning of May) called 'Golden Week'. So, seeing as I was off the job and had some free time, I took a day trip out to Hiroshima. After so much time in my (relatively small) city, it was nice to be in a larger place with actual department stores, huge bookstores, and shops with choices. Naturally, since I was in Hiroshima, I had to make a trip down to the 'Atomic Dome' (a building near ground zero of the atomic blast on August 6th, 1945), through the Peace Park, and then went to the Atomic Bomb museum. I wish I could say it was a life-altering experience (as most guidebooks, websites, and conversations with people who've been there have suggested), but it was kinda.. all right. I mean, of course it was a tragedy, but having studied Japanese history as a major in university, it's not the first time I've seen any of this stuff. I've read first-hand accounts of the suffering, I've seen the pictures (ones even more gruesome than in the museum), so.. yeah. The saddest thing I did see was a letter written by a 5th grade girl to her teacher after she was evacuated from the city (prior to the bombing). Reading the hope that a child can still maintain, even in a country ravaged of resources after 6 years of war, is just.. amazing, really.

After that, I decided to lay low for a few days before heading out for 'Friendship Day' at a USMC base near here. Once a year, they open their gates to the Japanese public for an air show, American food, and other stuff. Of course, it sounded interesting to go to an air show (despite having grown up on an Air Force base, I can't remember ever having been to one in my life), but above all else my heart was set on one thing: Taco Bell. Pretty much anything else I could want from America I can find relatively easy here in Japan. But Taco Bell, with their totally unauthentic Mexican food, has been absent from my life. The base, however, had one, and I went in search of their delicious tacos.

I finally track down the Taco Bell (which took some doing) and.. what's this? They're only selling Carne Asada Burritos?!?!? TACO Bell is not selling Tacos? There's some sort of sick irony in there. Right up there with the neighboring BURGER King that was only selling chicken sandwiches. I'm guessing that they wanted to provide something different to the Japanese guests, but still.. that seems so wrong. So ultimately, I had to leave without my delicious tacos. So very, very sad.

Other than that, I've just been getting back into the swing of things here at work. I'll be going in for a driving test next week for a Japanese driver's license, that'll be tons of fun. Also need to go in and extend my visa tomorrow or Thursday. Today I went to the department store to pick up some doughnuts for one of my company classes (no good reason, just felt like it) and ran across two of my students from high school. Since I was already going to buy doughnuts, I told them they could grab one if they wanted to, as one or two more doesn't make much of a difference to me.

The odd thing about it is that the reaction was akin to if I had cured someone of cancer. I mean.. being grateful is good, but it calls to attention an interesting part of Japanese society: Everyone here is amazingly courteous. Customer service is top notch. People will go well out of their way for you. But only if you ask. The idea of a 'random act of kindness' just seems kinda foreign, at least judging by my personal experiences and by the reactions I've gotten when I've done something random.

The second thing is now the children's book "If you give a mouse a cookie.." is coming to mind. I'm wondering how many students are going to hang around that place in the hopes of getting doughnuts. Scaaaary.

Anyway.. that's all I've got for today, and pretty much gets you up to date on my supposedly exciting life.

Before I forget, I made another video the other office I teach at. So, more fun of listening to me talk to myself! Second Office Tour!!!
Posted by Jason Jason on 05.12.09 @ 23:26 JST [link] [1 comment]


Saturday, April 25th

Stuffed raccoons make surprisingly nice pillows


I am tired. So very, very tired. I haven't actually woken up (and stayed up) at 7am since I was in Korea, nearly 4 months ago. But the high school I work at was having a medical checkup for all the staff this week and wanted me to get checked out. At first, it was an off-hand suggestion. "Hey, if you want to do it here, you can.", which later turned into "Hey.. uh.. yeah, you really should do the checkup." It's helpful to remember that there IS a right answer to offers and suggestions in Japan. I intended to go anyway (can't turn down a free medical checkup!), but.. yeah.

So, this meant I had to come into work an hour early on Wednesday with a plastic vial of my own urine (which I had to obtain from a paper cup and then suction up into said plastic vial.. not an experience I enjoyed). Arrive, and hey! The nurse is busy and asks me to come back the next day. That's good and fine.. except that I now am stuck with a plastic vial of my urine in my briefcase for the next 5 hours. I know, "Throw it away". But there are no trash cans in restrooms here, and the next choice is in the teacher's office. Not something I really want to just kinda toss in the trash. So.. yeah, had to stick that one out. Show up early on Thursday, she collects my papers, and sends me on my way, asking me to come at 8:30am on Friday for an xray.

The problem is that I don't do 8:30am. Sure, I used to work from 7:30, but I was done at 4, or 6 at the latest. On Fridays, I work until 9pm. That's a LONG day. I also hate going back and forth just to wait, so after my xray and eye test, I went to the office I'd be in all day. I arrived at 9:15am, and I left there earlier tonight at 9:30pm. In an office with only 2 rooms, that's a long time. Since I have a key, I let myself in, locked the door behind me. Free until 1pm, that's quite awhile with not much to do and no internet access, so I pulled all the curtains shut, grabbed a raccoon stuffed animal as a pillow, and slept for an hour and a half in the office.

Anyone who thinks an English teacher's life is glamorous should read that line over 3-5 more times. Fun? Sure. Great for stories? Definitely. Glamorous? Not by any definition of the word I'm aware of (and I'm an English teacher..!).

After that? I studied for about 2 hours before heading out to teach some kindergarten kids. Came back, taught some more, and finally got home a few hours ago. Long day. Loooooooong day.

Got a semi-busy weekend ahead of me, then 3 days of work next week before my 7 day vacation starts. Will probably head out for some short day trips, and I'll try to take some pictures.

I'm gonna go to bed now (finally), but I'm sure I'll write more as more excitement comes into my life. I can't avoid it, no matter how much I try.

Later!
Posted by Jason Jason on 04.25.09 @ 01:15 JST [link] [1 comment]


Wednesday, April 22nd

Random screams in the night


I was up at about 1am last night, studying Japanese before I went to bed. While reading through some passages, I heard some loud noises outside that sounded like kids playing. It's 1am, but I thought nothing of it. This is Japan.. I've seen children grocery shopping at midnight in Korea. I kept studying, but I kept hearing it, and the more I listened, the more it sounded like screaming. Someone screaming bloody murder, in fact. Even more to the point, it was a woman screaming "help me" (in Japanese).

So.. lessee. It's 1am, dark out, and there's a woman screaming "help me" down the street. This has all the makings of something bad, so I threw my glass door open and went running down the street in jogging shorts and a sweatshirt (no shoes.. didn't have time). Halfway there, I realized a cell phone would be a good idea, but.. eh, time's limited.

By the time I get there, I see a police car, a police officer standing around, and a woman being shoved into the back seat of the car. My guess is that she was drunk and being arrested and screaming. Thank god.. at least no one was being attacked or hurt. I really didn't want to have a fight a rapist off at 1am in the street with no shoes on.

Was it smart of me to go running out there? Maybe not. You never know what you'll encounter. Was it the right thing to do? That, I wholeheartedly have to say 'yes'. Even if it was the worst-case scenario.. I went out there to do something. If I woke up the next morning and heard a woman was raped or killed down the street.. that'd be hard to live with.

So anyway..! That's my exciting evening last night, while studying Japanese. I came to work early this morning for a health checkup at the high school only to be told "Could you come back tomorrow? Tomorrow would be better." Blah.. so now I'm here at the high school an hour early with nothing to do. And I get to wake up early tomorrow, too. Yay.

Other than that.. life's going all right. No real complaints. Have a new Japanese coworker joining and another leaving, so hopefully everything will go all right with that. Going to have lunch this weekend with the one who's leaving, so I need to find a nice restaurant and all that jazz.

BUT, to keep you entertained, I made a short video of my morning commute to the office yesterday morning, along with a tour of the office I never work at. But, technically, it's where my company is based, so.. yeah.

Enjoy the video, and have a good week! I'm gonna hope the week gets less exciting as it goes on..

My Tuesday Morning Commute
Posted by School School on 04.22.09 @ 10:35 JST [link] [2 comments]


Tuesday, April 14th

'You have a big nose..'

Current Sounds: Transformers: Season 3 episodes

I started teaching at the high school again. Though it adds 9 more working hours into my week plus makes my day start about 5-6 hours earlier everyday, it's still fun and I enjoy teaching there. The teachers are nice and the students are (generally) fun to work with. They also say the darndest things.

On Monday, I was approached by two third year students (in class B.. I never teach that class, so I don't know them). They start talking to me in bits of English, so I ask the same typical questions that I know everyone knows the answer to. Name, how they're doing, where they live. After that, one girl looks at me and then at her classmate.

"Jason, your nose..."
"My... nose? What about it?"
"It's.. big."
Now what, exactly, are you supposed to reply to that? I opted for:
"It's because I'm always lying. Like Pinocchio."

My life confuses even me. But anyway, it's fun. I enjoy working there. I'm just really, really tired this week. Staying up until 2-3am every day probably isn't helping. Can't be sure, though.

To briefly touch on a previous topic, I had my a brief encounter with racism a week or so ago. Basically, in short, the neighborhood I live in has certain rules that no one bothered to tell me. But, they have rules.. I understand and respect that. One is that you must not put your trash out early (which means: you can't put it out the night before, and should be from sun-up to the pick up time). I put mine out at 3am, so I thought it was okay. My coworker, however, put it out at 10pm or so. The old man in the association got mad and waited by the trash to see who was doing it and when he saw her, he asked her not to do it. What'd she do? Oh, she yelled at him and said that it was unreasonable to ask her to abide by the same rules that everyone else follows because she can't wake up early. Wow.. gee, thanks.

Of course, he went to my company to complain. I received a page-long memo from my company telling me his issues, which were:

1: He observed two foreigners putting the trash out early, which is against the rules. (Uh.. my coworker. Maybe me if you count 3am.. but that old guy's gotta be pretty dedicated to have seen me do it)
2: Some disposable items were thrown away without bags, and though he didn't see who did it, he believes it must be foreigners, because Japanese people know better. note that the items here a child's potty-training toilet (none of us foreigners have kids) and a microwave (our company buys the microwave). So.. that's an insane assumption.
3: Someone left trash out that wasn't picked up for over 1 month, nearly two (the same woman who yelled at the guy). She had been given money to dispose of it properly, but didn't do it.

So.. yeah. Now, point 2 rubs me the wrong way because it's a horrible (and wrong) assertion. Point 3 gets better because the memo says "Please take the trash in and dispose of it properly quickly. Leaving it out is like having a sign that says 'Here lies a lazy and careless foreigner'." That is, frankly, a flat-out racist remark. If I said "Here lives some arrogant, empty-minded Japanese", how well would people respond to that?

I'm not really that upset about it. It's just kinda weird.. never been in a position like that in my life. Arrogance and stupidity flows freely through this world (on the part of the neighborhood association head AND my coworker who is making us all look bad). On the positive side: it's the minority, no matter what the media or cynics of the world would have us believe.

Other than all that? Life's pretty good. Tired, but everything's all right. Had two students ask me today why I'm single (kinda wish people would stop asking), but.. it's a legitimate question, nothing harsh about it.

Gonna reply to some e-mails, read a bit, then go to bed. Got more high school tomorrow.

See ya!
Posted by Jason Jason on 04.14.09 @ 22:25 JST [link]


Monday, April 13th

Cherry Blossom Season


So, it's the sakura season, when the cherry blossom trees bloom everywhere, people go out on a hanami with their friends and family to sit in a park under the trees for a picnic: talking, eating, and drinking. "So, how was it??", you ask. Umm.. well.. when I went on one 3 and a half years ago, it was an interesting experience and I met some Japanese fisherman that we ate freshly caught fish with. This year? I hate to say it, but I'm not exactly a fan of picnics or staring at trees, so I didn't really do anything special. But I did look around the parks, university campus, and street in front of my house (which is lined for half a mile with sakura trees). So, I performed my civic duty of appreciating trees.

So, so, so, so, so... I need a new word. 'Thus', maybe..

Anyway, other than that, everything's been going all right, I'd say. I was still sick for another week and a half (and that stupid cough refused to let up), but it's pretty much subsided now and not only can I actually talk, but I don't need to pop throat lozenges every 3 minutes (a shame, too. I started to like the taste!). Finished my US taxes from my university job's income, filed for the Japanese stimulus package (money from both countries? Awesome!), finished my application for a Japanese proficiency test in July... hmm. Oh, and I need a Japanese driver's license within the next month or two. Due to some date issues on the license, I might need to go in and argue with some people, but we'll see how it goes. Any time I get a card with my name or picture on it, though, I'm happy. It's just somehow awesome to have credentials in another country.

Sometime in the next month, I'll also be signing my new contract (for another year) with my company. I've made up my mind that I'll spend a maximum of 3 years teaching English, so I've still got about 26 months before I need to do anything big or important with my life. Kinda keeps the stress low, though my goal now is to save as much money as humanly possible for whatever I'll do in 2 years. I also signed a year-long contract with the high school I teach at for my company (basically, I'm an employee of my company, and the high school pays my company for me to work there. Due to some legal quirks, though, I have to technically be an employee of the high school, hence the contract). It's nice, though, because it means that I can put it on my resume that I officially worked as an English teacher at the premier English high school in the prefecture.

April is the beginning of the school year in Japan, which means I've had a bunch of new classes thrown on my plate and my students move around. Doesn't mean much other than that, but it is interesting to see my students grow up and get older. A-chan is now in junior high school. Y-kun passed the exams and got into high school. S-kun, against his expectations, got into his first choice university. In few other jobs are you in the unique position of watching people grow first hand. Of course I also teach adults, but they make up 8 out of 34 weekly classes. Anyway, it's just really interesting.

Tomorrow I start at the high school again, so I need to start waking up early. After spending the last month not working until 5 pm, it's going to take some getting used to. But I really enjoy teaching at the school, so it's fine. I actually had to go out and buy some more dress shirts and ties today, as well as some indoor office slipper for the classrooms. Bah.. And then ironing. IRONING. Definitely not my favorite activity.

There was actually a lot more that I wanted to mention and talk about (like my exciting brush with racism..! Being a white, Christian, male American has left me generally out of the 'discriminated against' category for much of my life), but it's late and this is getting long as it is. Maybe tomorrow or so. For now, I'm gonna read, go to bed, and head off to work.

Oh.. and Happy Easter!
Posted by Jason Jason on 04.13.09 @ 01:28 JST [link]


Monday, March 30th

The horrors of Japanese doctors

Current Sounds: FFU - Over the Fantasy

As I promised myself, I went to the doctor this morning because I have been coughing for over a week straight. I figured everything was either totally okay and there's absolutely nothing a doctor can do for me, but by the sheer fact that I live by myself, I feel a deeper sense of responsibility when it comes to taking care of myself since, frankly, no one else will. And of all the epic ways I could go, dying from a cough is just lame.

Conversely, I kinda wish they gave you a price quote prior to going in, so you could evaluate how badly you really want to see the doctor. $19.93 to see a doctor, get a shot, and get 4 different medications? I call highway robbery and would've been content to stick with coughing and complaining. Now, the fact that I would choose 'death' over $19.93 is actually pretty pathetic and shows that I lack any true sense of priorities, but pay not attention to that silly fact.

Went in, filled out a questionnaire in Japanese (I could read most of it, and the rest I figured circling 'no' is the best choice, since medical questionnaires never ask, anything positive) and was given a thermometer. In America, usually you're alone with the thermometer, but here in Japan they leave you in the lobby and then tell you to reach through your collar and put it under your arm. Huh... okay, fair enough.

Finally I'm taken in to see the doctor (who speaks English, which is why all the English teachers go to him). He asks random questions, I talk about coughing up my lung for a week straight. Then he asks if I've had a shot. "Like... recently? Ever?", I ask. "Ever," came his reply. Uh.. I'm sorry, but last I checked, America's a pretty advanced country. Yes, I've certainly had shots in my life. I find he was asking because he wanted to give me a ridiculously large shot into some vein in my arm. What, exactly, does a giant shot have to do with a cough? I have absolutely not clue, but like a trooper, I took one for the "Jason" team. While I have no problems with shots and I really don't care much, if it takes over 60 seconds to push everything in, then the injection is simply too big and we need to reconsider what we're doing. Especially when I'm praying the whole time that I don't cough while a needle is in my arm.

That joy comes to an end, I pay for the checkup and walk next door to the pharmacy. There, I collect my medications (took about 10 minutes), pay for those, and I'm on my way. With 4 medications. For a cough. Overkill, anyone? No one bothers to explain what they're doing or why in Japan. They just do it. Giant injection.. why? Who knows! What's in it? No clue! He just said "gonna jump start your engine!" and sent me on my way. Breaking out my awesome Japanese skills, I learned that one is a cough suppressant, another is a painkiller, another is an antibiotic, and the last is to break up the mucus. Two pills, one syrup, and one... powder?

A.... powder?? I don't know about you, but I'm at a loss as to what to do with a powder. Do I swallow it? Mix it in water to make a medicinal drink? Sell it on the street? So I called my Japanese coworker (she's first on the list, but I was willing to go through my whole phone book of Japanese friends until someone could answer what to do with this powder) and asked what had to have been the weirdest question of the day: "So.. uh.. I got some weird powder in a bag from the doctor. Oh, yeah. It's white. So.. what do I do with it? Make a paste? Mix it in a drink? Just put it on my tongue and swallow?"

I'd hate to die from doing something stupid with medicine. That's just ironic.

But anyway.. I gotta run to work. In short, I'm totally healthy (blood pressure's at 124, weigh about 130-132lbs last I checked). Just got something hanging out in my lungs that I'm now declaring Jihad on. Take that.

I'll write sometime again..!
Posted by Jason Jason on 03.30.09 @ 15:36 JST [link]


Sunday, March 29th

Spring updates

Current Sounds: "Sixth Sense" on TV

So.. I guess the most obvious thing is that I've updated the design and changed the title. I was going to opt for the FULL title of "Jason Juxtaposed in Japan" because of the awesomeness that it contains, but that's far too long and sounds just a tad.. yeah. So I figured 'Jason' can be implied.

Why the change? Well, I felt the other one had been up for too long, and I wanted to show that some change has taken place in my life since coming to Japan (living abroad is a bit of a big step). So, I went for some sumi-e style paintings, and a nice photo of me (which is, ironically, in Korea, not Japan. I don't have many pictures of me in Japan, actually). Dunno, just kinda felt like something new, and a bit more.. mature? I don't know. Just didn't feel like the last design really represented me anymore.

That's about all I've got for you. Going on day 7 of this cough. Really, really getting annoyed. But, on another note, I bring you an updated movie of my apartment! Now you can see where I live, recorded 20 minutes ago. I figured the last movie was made the same day I moved in, so I should show how life has changed (which I assume it did).

So, ENJOY! I'll write later.

My Apartment: 10 Months Later
Posted by Jason Jason on 03.29.09 @ 20:36 JST [link] [comment]


Wednesday, March 25th

Where do I go now?

Current Sounds: Some Japanese dance show

Dunno.. just been feeling like writing lately. Must be the cough or something, or having nothing else to do with my time.

I don't know what it is or why, but for some reason I keep feeling lately like I'm wasting my life away, and that I'm just not doing enough with myself or my life. I try to assure myself that the facts don't really back that up, as I seem to be doing pretty well for myself on the surface, that it doesn't really help much.

So what is it that I should be doing with my life? It's too early and soon to push for a 'better' job, especially in this economy (and to boot, I really no longer have any complaints about my current job. I'm making good money, I'm debt free, and I'm even getting an 8% increase in June). Besides, the only big motivators for change would be more money or a different field. Having only worked for 9 months, I think I'm okay on both fronts.

It's not that I'm depressed per se. Rather, I just frequently (more than once a day, pretty much since I got here) wonder what I should be doing, and if I couldn't be doing something better with myself. I think the problem is my lack of goals right now. As I wrote before I left to Japan, since I was 16 years old or so (probably younger), my goal has been "go to Japan". And, of course, the goal of "graduate". I had these goals for many years and most of what I did somehow worked towards those goals. What I did had a reason, no matter how inane or menial the task was. Writing a term paper about the Whig party? It gave me a grade which contributed to the class which contributed to my general education credits which I needed to graduate. Not to say I enjoyed or appreciated all of it, but I think it helped.

Now, though, I think it bothers me because I don't really have any direct/indirect goals. It scares me, really, the chance of losing yourself and all your drive to a "work, come home, eat, sleep, work" lifestyle. I worked too hard for that.. didn't I? I've limited myself to working in this job (or English teaching in general, in case I decide to move to another city) for 3 years (I've already put in to extend my contract for a second year). But what then? I'm saving money now.. but what will I do with it? I say I'd like to go to grad school (and I would), but is that what's best?

I just wish it didn't feel like any choice I make wasn't closing all the other doors behind me. One of my students was talking about her "mental age" this week, and she said that though she's 60, her mental age is 40. She asked mine; I said "yeah, probably about 40 too". I just need to relax and enjoy life. Somehow. I've always kinda been bad at that.

Anyway, I should get some rest. Gotta sleep so this stupid cough will go away. Tired of sucking on Vicks orange throat lozenges.

See ya...!
Posted by Jason Jason on 03.25.09 @ 06:29 JST [link]




Links
Home
Archives
Jrem.net Main
Papers


Infonography...
Name:Jason
Age:23
Born:12-30
Location:Arizona


Current...
Location: Japan
Doing: English Teacher
Upcoming: Travel!

May
May 2009
SMTWTFS
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      

Powered By Navi [Serial Experiments Lain]