01/02/2008: "2007 - Year in Review"

Well, 2007 has come and gone, and now we've entered 2008. What does this really mean? Absolutely nothing, and especially nothing remotely significant. Technically, the Earth has gone completely around the Sun from an arbitralily chosen point and back. This isn't to say that the new year isn't special. Nay, it's to say that I find it a bit interesting that taken outside of Western culture (and those Eastern cultures that have chosen to adapt it), there's nothing siginificant.

However! I happen to be Western, and whether or not the universe rocks with the change of one year to the next is of no significance to me. As such, it is special and different and I fully intend to treat that way. So before we talk about the new year and where things will go, let's review the last year!

2007, as a whole, left a little to be desired, especially the second half. If one were to focus on the negatives, it really wasn't such a cheery year. I lost all contact with one of my closest friends, had to fight it out with my college department and dealt with teachers trying to toy with my grades, two people died, and right before the year ended, things got ugly with my father. But life isn't all about the negatives. The good comes with the bad and vice-versa. As a whole, taking the wins with my losses, I think I came out ahead over this past year. If anything, the 'negative' events ultimately continue to strengthen my resolve and made me learn new things about myself and the world, even if these are lessons I would've sometimes preferred to do without.

I started working a steady job this year, even two jobs for about 6 weeks. I initially did it to give me something to do over the summer (since I really do dislike having nothing to do), but I've really enjoyed working and find it incredibly fulfilling. This is not the case with any job, as Target and I didn't exactly see eye-to-eye, but it is important to find something that meshes well with your personal ideas and values. In a little over half a year, I've gone from "the new guy" to working as the person in charge for the computer lab, doing scheduling, and organizing all other aspect of my job. Not exactly the most impressive thing in the world as a 'computer lab monitor', but it is progress, and the respect is important. It's nice to have people value what you say.

For the people I've lost touch with.. that's always a shame, and it's never something I do easily. In fact, I tend to 'cling' a bit. In fact, I do it quite often and way too long. No matter how bad the relationship is, shy of absolute and utter betrayal, I believe in at least trying to give a second chance. Of course, I tend to hang onto grudges for years and am liable to not trust the person again, but that doesn't mean we won't be talking anymore. When it does come time to sever ties, though, I believe in doing it completely and totally, without looking back. I won't go into the details, but it was important for me to break it off with some people this year, because maintaining a relationship was just becoming harmful to me.

This, again, isn't all bad. I've made many great friends at my job, and gone out and done alot of things I never would have. Maybe I taught them some English, but they taught me alot about their own cultures, customs, and universal concepts of people. I also had a chance to go visit a long-time (I've known her about.. 5 years?) friend in London for a week over spring break. Knock off another country from my list of 'places to make curry in'!

I think if there's anything specific stands out that I'm going to recall for years to come and has labeled 2007, though, it probably would have to be the people who died, one by sheer freak chance and the other by grief and choice. I can't really frame these as positives, but in a way that in itself is the valuable lesson behind it. Some things in life are just markedly, incomprehensibly painful. Life isn't fair, and sometimes it seems to border on the unfair even. It's all right to accept and hold onto the pain for awhile.. it's an important part of coming to terms with loss. But there's a limit to it. You need to let go, you need to live. Holding onto the pain forever is no better than dying yourself. You stagnate, and you lose in the end. It's like holding onto anger.. in the end, you gain nothing, and all you do is lose yourself in the process.

It's weird.. because I only knew Wendy for about 5 or so months. In that time, however, we became really close and talked alot about our personal lives and thoughts. She was just that type of person, the type who listens unconditionally and always has a minute to spare, no matter that's happening. I still see her in crowds sometimes. Pretty often, in fact, in large groups I can swear I see her walking in-between the people. I guess a part of me refuses to let go.

That's pretty much 2007 in a nutshell. As for what 2008 will bring.. I can't be sure yet. It will be interesting, though, regardless. I'll go to Korea in March and Japan.. likely in June or so. Life's changing pretty fast, but for now I want to just take things as they come. I've never been big on resolutions, but I opted for the good ol' standby: I'm going to do my best. I'll be the best person I can, and do what I can to bit-by-bit make the world a better place. When I go to bed at night, I'll be able to close my eyes knowing that I've done the best I can.

Cheesy, but hey.. it works.

This is long enough, so I'm gonna run for now.. but I'll write sometime again soon in this brave, new year!


Jason

On Wednesday, January 2nd, Dad said:

Your future is unlimited Jason. You have an astute and keen approach to the world, have much to be proud of, and have weathered a lot of crap in life from many directions over time.

I have the utmost respect for the guy you have become, will always love you and am honored to be a contributing member to your gene pool.

Dad

On Thursday, January 3rd, Kat said:

I didn't do anything on new year's too (except listen to people in the halls, getting stoned and/or drunk) . i wish i had been able to talk to you on im but alas i'm a very poor girl now.
i'm so glad you're doing what you want for your future. Hope we'll stay in contact. Happy bday and new year's dear Jason.