03/30/2009: "The horrors of Japanese doctors"

As I promised myself, I went to the doctor this morning because I have been coughing for over a week straight. I figured everything was either totally okay and there's absolutely nothing a doctor can do for me, but by the sheer fact that I live by myself, I feel a deeper sense of responsibility when it comes to taking care of myself since, frankly, no one else will. And of all the epic ways I could go, dying from a cough is just lame.

Conversely, I kinda wish they gave you a price quote prior to going in, so you could evaluate how badly you really want to see the doctor. $19.93 to see a doctor, get a shot, and get 4 different medications? I call highway robbery and would've been content to stick with coughing and complaining. Now, the fact that I would choose 'death' over $19.93 is actually pretty pathetic and shows that I lack any true sense of priorities, but pay not attention to that silly fact.

Went in, filled out a questionnaire in Japanese (I could read most of it, and the rest I figured circling 'no' is the best choice, since medical questionnaires never ask, anything positive) and was given a thermometer. In America, usually you're alone with the thermometer, but here in Japan they leave you in the lobby and then tell you to reach through your collar and put it under your arm. Huh... okay, fair enough.

Finally I'm taken in to see the doctor (who speaks English, which is why all the English teachers go to him). He asks random questions, I talk about coughing up my lung for a week straight. Then he asks if I've had a shot. "Like... recently? Ever?", I ask. "Ever," came his reply. Uh.. I'm sorry, but last I checked, America's a pretty advanced country. Yes, I've certainly had shots in my life. I find he was asking because he wanted to give me a ridiculously large shot into some vein in my arm. What, exactly, does a giant shot have to do with a cough? I have absolutely not clue, but like a trooper, I took one for the "Jason" team. While I have no problems with shots and I really don't care much, if it takes over 60 seconds to push everything in, then the injection is simply too big and we need to reconsider what we're doing. Especially when I'm praying the whole time that I don't cough while a needle is in my arm.

That joy comes to an end, I pay for the checkup and walk next door to the pharmacy. There, I collect my medications (took about 10 minutes), pay for those, and I'm on my way. With 4 medications. For a cough. Overkill, anyone? No one bothers to explain what they're doing or why in Japan. They just do it. Giant injection.. why? Who knows! What's in it? No clue! He just said "gonna jump start your engine!" and sent me on my way. Breaking out my awesome Japanese skills, I learned that one is a cough suppressant, another is a painkiller, another is an antibiotic, and the last is to break up the mucus. Two pills, one syrup, and one... powder?

A.... powder?? I don't know about you, but I'm at a loss as to what to do with a powder. Do I swallow it? Mix it in water to make a medicinal drink? Sell it on the street? So I called my Japanese coworker (she's first on the list, but I was willing to go through my whole phone book of Japanese friends until someone could answer what to do with this powder) and asked what had to have been the weirdest question of the day: "So.. uh.. I got some weird powder in a bag from the doctor. Oh, yeah. It's white. So.. what do I do with it? Make a paste? Mix it in a drink? Just put it on my tongue and swallow?"

I'd hate to die from doing something stupid with medicine. That's just ironic.

But anyway.. I gotta run to work. In short, I'm totally healthy (blood pressure's at 124, weigh about 130-132lbs last I checked). Just got something hanging out in my lungs that I'm now declaring Jihad on. Take that.

I'll write sometime again..!


Jason

On Tuesday, March 31st, mina mina said:

Jason -- please do write again. We need the next chapter from your cough saga and what you ended up doing with the power.