Juxtaposed in Japan

Friday, March 31st

Gaaah. No. Not fair.

Current Sounds: GK21 - Track-01

The week's over. Unfortunately, for some reason, I'm feeling really sick right now. It better be nothing. I have stuff I need to do in 9 hours. I can't get sick. Not to mention, I've been sick alot lately. Maybe it's stress. But it isn't good.

I've started a new book, it's on Japanese History. Will post the title later.

Allergies aren't good. My eyes hurt lately, especially when outdoors. Not fun.

I need sleep.

I still predict massive failure on the speech. But.. what can you do?

And that's about it.
Jason on 03.31.06 @ 12:52 AM JST [link]

Wednesday, March 29th

[Library] In other world, at another time..

Current Sounds: Coughing, sneezing, and the other sounds of life.

Been awhile since I've used the School login, which suggests that I'm away or at a school-related computer. This is also correct, as I'm currently sitting the library, left mostly without entertainment or anything else that would otherwise keep me occupied. So, I post to my online journal.

Finished reading "Rainbow Six" (by Tom Clancy) yesterday, and I didn't grab a new book yet, so this I don't have anything on hand to read. I also left my PSP memory sticks in my room, which leaves out music. I do, however, have "Rockman Dash" [PSP] with me, so I'll probably play that for the time in between classes (about an hour and a half to go). The only problem is that it's in Japanese, and my Japanese is more than a bit sketchy. At least I've played part of the game before, and I should be able to learn something from context and what I can read.

I need to write and mail 3 postcards and a package by the end of the week.. along with all the other stuff I really should/need to do. Things just seem really busy as of late, and I don't have the time to do all the things I want. Worse, I don't have to do all the things I want/say I will do for other people around me. I really don't like letting people down, but it seems that it's what I do as of late.

Next Saturday is the Japanese speech contest. To say that I'm nervous or worried about it would be an understatement. But, like all other situations like this, I'm trying to take it in stride. Sure, I'm not confident in my speech, I think everyone else is better, I have yet to memorize my speech, and I'm not fond of public speaking.. but I'm trying to not let it get to me. That's just going to make it more daunting and more difficult. What bothers me most, I'd say, is the possibility that I'll fail. This is a contest, which puts you in competition with other people. But at the end of the day, the all I can do is my best... right?

At least this week is almost over. Hopefully I can get some sleep this weekend.. but I don't think so (I usually don't). I'd like to practice the speech and at least get it memorized, if I can. Then I can work on trying to put feeling and emotion to it later. Friday, I'll be going out for a few hours to meet with someone, hopefully practice speaking Japanese some. Even if I'm not terribly social, it's nice to actually get out and meet with people.

I'm going to go play that game for awhile, then off to watch a movie in my class for about an hour, then home. Hopefully I won't fall asleep during the movie.. it sounds pretty boring.

I'll write sometime later, when I have a chance.
School on 03.29.06 @ 12:49 PM JST [link]

Wednesday, March 22nd

BACK TO ADVENTURE!

Current Sounds: PGSM - Here we go!

Subjects are for one of two primary purposes, as we're going to be ignoring the subjects that are completely random, mostly because they're devoid of purpose. They're rather akin to book titles, actually, in their purpose. In the traditional sense, a subject (be it e-mail, a book's title, or the subject line of journal entry) is a very short line that gives the reader an idea what the article they are about to read is going to be about. More abstractly, the title can be about a more obscure topic, something of a question (though not in the traditional sense) that the reader doesn't yet understand, but by reading the article (e-mail, book, journal entry), they will start to understand.

Today's subject falls into the "devoid of purpose" and "in-joke" catergories. In "Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time" [Nintendo DS] (which I played and beat with 25 hours of actual game time), after a long explanation, someone would exclaim "BACK TO ADVENTURE!". And so.. here it is. I'm sure you can guess the implication.

I'm not actually at school today. Yes, yes. Gasp, shock, the whole bit. I'm slightly sick (and have been for a few days), but moreover, I just have alot of Japanese homework to do, need to translate and submit my speech, and.. well.. I didn't want to go. There's nothing life-threatening happening in my classes today, so I figured I might as well have a day off. Of course, when one person skips, others start to skip as well, and you know how the whole thing goes. So, shortly I'll be going out somewhere, I suspect that Taco Bell may be involved.

Aside from the "lots of work" to do, I've been at least somewhat productive this week. Got two important things mailed out/submitted this week, so hopefully all my college admission stuff should now be done. I also got back 2 of 3 major tests, with grades that I'm fairly content with. On the Astronomy midterm, I got a 104%, and from Political Science, I got an 85%. I'm definitely not happy with the latter's grade, but it's something I can live with. Submitted my Japanese test yesterday and took the oral comprehension portion, so I should get the grade back either Thursday or next Tuesday. Due to the miserable failure that struck last time (71%! I still have nightmares about it!), I'm trying to keep my expectations low to try to lessen the blow when I get the grade.

I should get ready to head out and be irresponsible by not sitting down and completing my homework, which I swear I'll do tonight. But, for anyone that's interested, I uploaded some of the images from the vacation through California. Mostly me standing next to landmarks, just to prove I'm been there. There are some other photos, some are semi-interesting, but involve other people in my family, which I like to avoid uploading and displaying on the internet (especially with younger siblings and all that stuff). I even have great explanations to go along with these images, though the story may or may not be what actually was happening at the time. Anyway, if you actually know me somewhat personally and want to see some other stuff, contact me.

And so, here are the images (I believe it's the order they were taken in):

(sorry, no thumbnails. Didn't have time to resize the images)
Shamu and Me 2 3 (SeaWorld)
Don't I look so happy? (Disneyland)
Wild West, Peanuts, And Girls 2 3 4 (Knott's Berry Farm)
The last caption sums up just about any vacation, really.. well, except Japan. They didn't have a "Wild West" (though I was up in the "frigid Tundra"... which was in the West), but I did eat alot of peanuts while there.

I'll write again when I have some time..!
Jason on 03.22.06 @ 10:50 AM JST [link]

Saturday, March 18th

Awaiting the feeling of resting on solid ground..

Current Sounds: Origa - Inner Universe

I knew that it was incredibly likely, and now it finally struck. Days before I need to submit my tests and go back to school, I get sick. Due to the onset of some form of sickness, that I've been in a car most of today, and that I didn't sleep much last night, this is going to be incredibly short.

Basically, just wanted to write an update to state that I got back "here" and things seem mostly as I left them. There's quite a bit I need to do over this weekend to get things in order after having been gone nearly a week, but it's (I hope, at least) not too daunting.

I was going to upload photos today or tomorrow, but unfortunately, I realized that the CF card reader is in our printer, which happens to be out and being repaired right now.. darn. I'll upload the photos as soon as I can, because of course the world needs to see me posing in front of the various theme parks throughout California (minus Magic Mountain, though I have been there in the past).

Now, I'm off to sleep and not set an alarm. Hopefully the next time I write I'll be feeling a bit better.
Jason on 03.18.06 @ 01:43 AM JST [link]

Thursday, March 16th

The end is bittersweet

Current Sounds: Ai Otsuka - Smiley

I was too tired to post anything last night, so I guess I'll have to cram descriptions of two whole days full of excitement into one post. I'm pretty sure it can be done.

Yesterday, there was a bit of a change of plans and Knott's Berry Farms was delayed and instead we went to Disney California Adventure, which was made by Disney, had a theme of California, and many could argue that it's an adventure. As for me, it really wasn't so bad. As for as rides and attractions go, I thought it was superior to Disneyland due to that things were a little more interesting, a little more exciting. They even had a rollercoaster. But as far as theme and magic went, it was really lacking. You can only take so much 1950-60s American California surfing culture before you get tired of it. For me, my tolerance level is rather low, so I got tired of the theme a bit fast. There's also a certain magical factor that's missing from that park, the kind of childish atmosphere, the lands of make-believe that you find in Disneyland. Sure, it may be a bit more childish, but Disneyland really has a feel all its own, one that inspires you to let go of the things you worry about during the day and just live in the magical moment. This is all true as long as Disneyland isn't a common activity, maybe once every few years or so. I don't imagine it'd remain that special if this became something I did often.

Took a break from California Adventure for a few hours, had dinner, and then we went back in the evening to watch the fireworks show at Disneyland, which was nothing short of amazing. I'd seen the fireworks show multiple times from the hotel window, but being there with it shooting all around you, timed with the music, it really was something special to see. Standing there and watching the lights drift through the empty sky around you, you also notice one thing, or at least I did: as I mentioned before.. beauty and sadness come as a group, while not directly related, beauty in life can inspire the sadness of longing. It's an awe-inspiring feeling to watch the show, but at the same time.. you feel washed over with a feelings of want, nostalgia, loss. I guess I couldn't really say that I'd give up that inspiration, the beauty.. but at the same time, it really is sort of bittersweet.

Went back to the hotel, slept for awhile, then woke up and went out to Knott's Berry Farm today. While it had much more exciting rides (my body still feels as if it's spinning, and we got back 3 hours ago), and it was themed with Snoopy and the Peanuts cast along with a Western appeal, it really was devoid of much of the magical, fun feeling that Disney seems to impart on its park. So, while I did have a good time there (and I was even able to nag some Japanese people who went there and talk for a bit.. yay!), there's much less of a lasting impression.

Apparently, I really don't have much to say about Knott's Berry Farms. Fun, not too memorable. I won't be telling my grandchildren about it. But while there, I was shaken, soaked, tossed, dropped, and did about one of everything to my body that you really shouldn't do. Hence my head still feels shakey.

Tomorrow, I believe the plan is to return, something I really don't mind to be doing. I'm not a fan of this sort of half-way living, always living out of bags, having no place to call "yours". Hotels really are not my cup of tea. There's a long drive ahead, but I figure I'll just watch movies through it. Play some games, read a book. Once I get back, I have alot of Japanese homework to do.. definitely not looking forward to that.

Well, dinner's ready. I should get going. Should probably be posting in the next few days.. we'll see.
Jason on 03.16.06 @ 08:24 PM JST [link]

Tuesday, March 14th

[Traveling] 'Where are you going, where have you been?'

Current Sounds: Evangelion - Takahashi Youko - Cruel Angel's Thesis

The subject line is from a book title, a mildly interesting book that I had to read and evaluate last semester. Not fascinating enough to suggest it to anyone, but the title works well enough for the current situation.

Yesterday, I went to SeaWorld, which is kinda like a themepark where the theme is less on "fun" and more on water. As the name suggests, the whole point of SeaWorld is the wide-open sea, and overall had a sort of zoo-ish feeling to it, especially when you went through the animal exhibits, watched the dolphin show, and all the other things. As for the giant whale, Shamu, I actually never went near the whale attraction and didn't see the park's prime mascot. However, I did get a photo of me posing on a giant plastic whale, so I figure that's almost the same thing.

More traveling followed, finally got internet access (which explains the post last night), caught some sleep, then went out to the "most magical place on earth" today (Disneyland). I haven't been there since I was 5 years old (I did go to Tokyo Disneyland in Nov. 2004, which was markedly similar, but that's not quite the same thing), so it has definitely been interesting to see everything with a different perspective and be able to ride all the attractions again. We only made it through about half of the park, so we'll be going back either tomorrow night or Thursday. I also hope to stop into California Adventure, as I've never been there and it looks interesting and, dare I say.. even possibly fun?

Tomorrow is going to be a trip to Knott's Berry Farms, where someone named "Knott" supposedly made "Berries" on a "Farm".. and made it an amusement park full of fun and excitement for reasons that are beyond me. But! I hear that they have rollercoasters and other rides that scare and terrify people. It should be fun.

Other than Disneyland, the highlights for today have been relatively low-key. Been living out of bags in a (rather nice) hotel, eating food that's probably no good for me, and engaging in the other things people do while traveling. After dinner, I went down to the pool to swim for a bit, then came back up and finally buckled down and got to my Japanese homework, once the guilt set in for being so lazy and not doing it until now. I still have tons to do, but.. at least I started. Once I finish writin this, I plan on starting to translate the homework.. always fun.

An important highlight for the day would be the knowledge I managed to happen upon that having your hand crushed under a car door hurts. This was 5 hours ago, and my hand still hurts, but fortunately all the force was taken on my knuckles and nothing broke. So.. yeah. New lesson: try to avoid having car doors slammed on your hand. Not fun.

Emotionally, mentally, and otherwise.. Well, let's simply say that I've had alot on my mind and am not really in a position to deal with any of it, so I've been reading alot and playing alot of games. Keeps you busy, and right now, busy is good.

I'm going to go get some Mountain Dew, break out my Japanese homework/test, and get to work. I'll try to update again soon when I have a chance.
Jason on 03.14.06 @ 10:49 PM JST [link]

Monday, March 13th

[Traveling] Moving to a place I don't yet know

Current Sounds: A game playing in the background

[Note: this was written yesterday with no access.. I'll write something up to date in a few days]

It's now been 12 hours since I woke up today, and I'm now in a hotel/condo/what-have-you in another state, watching a Star Wars special on the History Channel. I didn't sleep much last night, and sleeping in the car is never fun, which ultimately means that I'm not even all that awake. Yay!

In all actuality, it's Sunday night right now, but I don't have internet access, so this will (hopefully) be posted on Monday night, when I (should) be online again.

This week has definitely been interesting, to say the least, though I feel bad that I haven't been in the best of emotional and mental states over the week. It always leaves me wondering if I'm missing out on some things I should be doing in life that I just don't see.

Of course, I had to get my Japanese speech corrected and read, but I also had to get my midterms done this week. That was incredibly hectic, having to study for two midterms in one day, and then actually getting through the tests themselves. I think I should've done fine in one test, but the other one (essay-style), is a bit more up in the air. Alas, there's nothing I can do about that.

But for the less-than-positive start to the week, I was invited to go out bowling with a bunch of Taiwanese students Thursday night until about midnight or so, which was alot of fun (though bowling isn't really my sport of choice), even if there was alot of Mandarin spoken that I honestly didn't understand. Friday night, I went out again with the same group to go play poker and Mahjong from 10PM-3AM. I actually won two hands of Mahjong, too, which is at least something to feel slightly satisfied with. I think going out and was probably good, so hopefully it's something I can keep up with and do more of in the future.

Just really been lost and introspective lately. I was kinda hoping I could try to deal with, or sleep through, that over spring break, but due to the fact that I'm traveling and going to be busy every day running around in large entertainment places (tomorrow/Monday is SeaWorld, after that, Disneyland I think), I probably won't be able to think about all this much. Instead, we play games and read books. We try to ignore it. This won't do much good, but it's about all the choice I seem to have right now.

Gah.. and I hurt my finger. It's puffy and hurts. Sucky. Hopefully it should be better in a few days.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say. I should go look for the moon tonight so I can sketch it up for my school assignment, read for a bit, and then probably go to bed. In the morning.. not sure yet, but tentatively, I plan on playing pool in the morning, if for no other reason than that it's fun.

I'll try to keep up to date on the trip, ideally I'll have pictures to post, too. I'll post again soon-ish.
Jason on 03.13.06 @ 09:59 PM JST [link]

Monday, March 6th

Do you know what fun tastes like?

Current Sounds: PGSM - Lovely e-ru

In response to the subject, fun tastes mildly like bubblegum. I should know, I just had "fun" flavored toothpaste. Just kinda figured that I should share this with the world. Nice to know, I'd think.

Speaking of fun, I bought "Socom: US Navy Seals, FireTeam Bravo" [PSP] today. It also happens to be fun.

Finished my submission for the Japanese speech contest. Ended up at 886 characters out of a required 900-1000. A little more or less is acceptable, so I called it a day (doesn't hurt that I finished it at 3AM, 7 hours before my self-imposed deadline). Sounds a bit on the short side, but I'd rather write a speech about what I wanted to say than write to fulfill the exact time limit. If I wanted that, I could've always just translated a Dr. Seuss book and called it a day (I've always been fond of "Go Dog, Go!", in case anyone wanted to know).

Mailed a copy off to four people in total, need to mail it off to two more, and then met with another person to get it read through. So far, my results have been a mixed bag, and to such an extent that I really don't know what to think. I've gotten "Hey, it's fine." to "I'm not sure what this part means." to "Maybe you should rewrite this part." to "I think it should be written differently," followed by a detailed reorganization and correction of the entire speech. I could go into why and how I think this happened.. but it's really not important right now, so I'll save that to ramble about later. But I am terribly confused as to what it is that I should do about it, with such mixed reviews.

Midterms this week, two to be exact, plus a test to hand in Tuesday. I also need to finish a workbook that I need to work on the last details for by Wednesday. So.. busy week ahead, and then Spring Break. Unfortunately, Spring Break has already been planned for, and it looks like I'll be busy. Looks like it'll be awhile until I catch up on my sleep, I guess. But, best to not get too far ahead of myself. I have work I need to concentrate on now.

And to compound all this together into a nice, workable mass, I seem to be incredibly depressed and apathetic lately, a change I've noticed over the last week. Things seem like varying shades of grey, lacking definition. I just feel empty. To compensate, I've just been going to the fallback of escapism. Been doing alot of reading, alot of games, alot of anything to keep my mind far away and distant, away from me. There are reasons, I'm sure. Some of them I probably know. But, there are some things that are best just not talked about, and some things that I simply don't want to talk about.

On this highly optimistic note, I'm going to go to bed for awhile, probably play a game for a bit, then stare at the roof until sleep finally takes over for a few short hours. Have school in the morning.. need to be awake enough to at least blindly take notes.

Ideally I'll be in a better state of mind when I write next. I don't really predict as much, but hey.. can't hurt, right?
Jason on 03.06.06 @ 01:59 PM JST [link]

Thursday, March 2nd

Random update.. kinda

Current Sounds: PGSM - Sakura Fubuki

Incredibly tired right now, and it seems my lack of sleep is catching up to be. Can't/won't be writing much, but felt kinda compelled to ramble on anyway. Rest assured, the moment I click "Add This Entry", I'll be going to bed (though not for long, I have work to do in the morning before classes if I want to keep everything on schedule).

Most pressing is my Japanese speech, which I've been incredibly uninspired for. I just can't seem to get myself to not only compose my thoughts in an interesting, thought-provoking manner, but I also can't seem to put any of this into Japanese, especially not in some sort of sensical way. Currently, I'm at 470/900-1000 characters.. just barely over the 50% mark. To add some fun to the whole thing, I need my speech written by Friday morning. Must be completed to the point of being acceptable to submit for editing. Gah. Tomorrow/Today's going to be stressful. Wake up, work on speech, go to school, come back, work on speech, go to bed, wake up Friday, then go and start revising and editing the speech. If it really works out, I'll be doing that again later in the weekend. By the time I finally submit the speech, I'm sure I'll never want to hear it again.. much less revise and memorize it for 2-3 weeks before reciting it in front of a crowd.

Doesn't help that I already feel assured of certain failure. But those are just my self-esteem issues.

Before I ramble more, I'm going to go to bed. Hopefully next time I write, I'll be more sensical. Even better, hopefully my speech will be done (and won't suck).
Jason on 03.02.06 @ 02:26 PM JST [link]


March 2006
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