Juxtaposed in Japan
Sunday, December 30th

Why..?


On the last weekend that I will be coming up to my father's house, before I graduate and move on and do something with myself in the world, he spends the entire time on the phone with his girlfriend. His family and children, people who he doesn't see for weeks on end, he just ignores them and sits in the back room flirting with some girl who he has no long term goals or plans with. What's wrong with this picture? Why is it that the man who supposedly fathered me and manages to eek out the words that he cares can't even remotely express it?

Actions speak louder than words, as I've been told since I was a child.

I dare spoke criticism of him and his professional field, and he suddenly told me that he wishes nothing to do with me. I can, and I quote, take "this to [my] grave", because he's Dr. Professional. I'm sorry, but I wasn't born to a doctor. I was born to a man who is supposed to be my father. How can one speak to me about being wrong, arrogant, and no clue what life is like when he stands there, unable to pull in or aknowledge his own faults, and has no proper priorities? At just 14, I stayed home and cooked and cleaned for my younger brother and sister. I woke up early to take them to school every single day, and I picked them up from school when it was over. I taught them reading, writing, and math.

These children were, frankly, "not my problem". But everyone needs someone to look after them, so I did it. This man, my "father", is supposed to do these things freely. But even on a weekend where there's no obligation, no work, nothing to distract him, he runs off to cavort with women rather than spend time with his kids. Words are cheap.

My biggest affront to him? Not "being afraid" of him (his desire, of course). Not seeing him "for what [he] really is" (which I find subjective, but apparently he knows it's a successful business man). Oh, and dear god.. I didn't buy him a Christmas present. I only called him promptly in the morning to wish him a merry Christmas. I also didn't get him anything for his birthday.. nevermind that my boss committed suicide shortly before that. Cry me a river, and grow up.

I generally prefer to not air my problems so openly.. but I'm at wit's end over this childishness. I don't deserve to be cursed-out by my father, nor do I deserve to have him slandering me behind my back. It's official, I'm done. Until he sobers up (the alcoholism is something he's promised me, to my face, to stop since I was 16) and gets his priorities straight (he has kids, for the love of god.. I don't care about me, but I worry for my brother and sister), he and I have nothing to discuss.

Oh, and ideally he'll stop dating with people younger than me. And making my younger brother talk to and associate with his new, 'barely legal' girlfriends. I object morally here..

Yeah.. I know people will read this. Yeah, I know "it" will hit the proverbial fan. But someone's gotta start this.. because he's been playing this too long.

Oh.. and happy birthday to me. I'm 22 now.
Jason on 12.30.07 @ 03:47 PM JST [link]


Thursday, December 27th

One holiday down, two to go!

Current Sounds: UHF (the movie) playing in the background

So, Christmas is said and done with, and now we're running in on my birthday and New Year's. There are about 4 days left to this year, so I'd really guess it's within my best interest to get all the unproductive stuff out of the way before I have a new year of way-too-much stuff to do.

Christmas went by all right, overall had a good holiday. Sat around with my family, opened stuff, then spent the evening watching Christmas movies and things. Not exactly terribly eventful, but I prefer things that way. Friday I'm going to a birthday party thing with the Taiwanese and Korean students again, then my birthday on Sunday. As a positive, I do get to try alot of different foreign foods at these parties with students from around the world. It's also interesting seeing the different cultures and how people from them interact. What's strangest, though, is the separation by cultural/language lines. All the Taiwanese students were on the left side of the room, the Koreans on the right, all talking to eachother in their respective language, or occasionally English. So, what happens when you throw a Turkish guy and American in the mix? Where do they go? The Turkish guy kinda sat in the middle and tried to engage people in English, and I got dragged into the Korean group. It helps that even if I don't know people, lots of people know me. And hey, I'm American. Yay?

As for my birthday.. I don't really have any plans. I guess I'll go out to a movie with someone and say goodbye before they leave for their country. That leaves New Years, which I have absolutely no idea what I'll do for it. Current plans involve staying home and doing absolutely nothing (my New Year's tradition).. but who knows, something interesting might happen. Then later this week I'll go back to work. As sad as it sounds, I really enjoy work and don't like having such long periods of time off. It also can't hurt to work more to pay off having to buy some new clothes recently, my textbooks, and.. oh.. the upcoming Korea trip! I should have dates on that in about 2 weeks or so (will be out in March). I'm pretty excited about going, even if I don't know any Korean. I should try to study up on at least a little of it before I go.

Not a whole lot to say right now, just figured I'd give an update and let people know that I'm still here and trudging along. For better or worse, I should have an update on the job in Japan within the next few weeks. Good times, good times. To say nothing or how incredibly nervous I am..

Anyway, I'll write again sometime soon!
Jason on 12.27.07 @ 06:17 PM JST [link]


Friday, December 21st

[At Work] No more English, PLEASE!

Current Sounds: Headways' English language tape

So, got my final grade, making the final damage for the semester: 2 A's, 2 B's, and an S. And I'm still applicable for honors at that. Assuming I don't C my way through every class next semester, I should still get honors on my BA. Does it matter? Not really.. I don't care enough to stress about it, but it certainly is good to know.

Went to a Korean and Taiwanese party last night. Parties really aren't my thing, especially with a bunch of people I don't know terribly well (half of the people there were students from the school I work at, but that doesn't mean I know their names, however they do know mine). Really, I had a good time.. but initially, I never know what to say or do. Blah. Being one of the only Americans there (there were technically 2) leads to interesting experiences where people stop you in the middle of what you're doing and ask you to define 'to die for' (and provide a bunch of example sentences) or help them with their pronunciation of random English words (like 'phone', and 'language'). I seriously wonder if I couldn't sell myself out as a private tutor for extra money/experience before I move to Japan.. (the only concern is this would be a conflict of interest)

If I said my life was boring.. I'd definitely be lying. And who knows how much fun occurs that I forget/'forget' to mention? Interesting, indeed.

I'm gonna get back to recording this English tape. I'll have you know that having to listen to 40 minute long English tapes (low level English, too) and splice them into CDs is an agonizing experience. Not to mention that there are 2 tapes with 2 sides each. I have about 1.75/4 sides done. Now that's progress!
School on 12.21.07 @ 11:31 AM JST [link]


Wednesday, December 19th

[At Work] If you've got resources, use 'em!

Current Sounds: Rhapsody - Holy Thunderforce

Burning 20 copies each of two cds (40 total) is a bit of a hassle, but at least when one copy is burnt, you can still use the same digital copy on the pc to make another. Burning 1 copy of 22 different cds is a unique hassle in its own right. Fortunately for me, I'm left with a computer lab with 24 computers, all of which have a cd burner on them. Setup 8 computers to rip and burn, and you can get done in about an hour and a half. Now that's progress! Randomly, doing it one by one should've taken an estimated 5-6 hours (you do lose some efficiency having to run back and forth between the computers, unfortunately, but still a win overall).

So far, my grades are doing okay. Could've been better.. but considering all the drama that came down this semester and my not really caring a whole lot for 75% of my classes, an S, A, and two B's is pretty decent. Still waiting on one grade, but I expect that to be a B or A. Could be better, could be worse. Life goes on, and no one really cares about your GPA when you graduate anyway.

Finally got both the Japanese and Korean girls back to their respective countries, after much going wrong, might I say. Both actually missed their flights by about 10 minutes, but the Japanese girl was able to catch another one and still make the flight for Japan from CA. The other one.. not so lucky. The next flight got her to the airport 30 minutes before the flight left for Korea and.. well, I'm sure most of us know that getting through LAX in 30 minutes WITH having to pick up bags from the carousel AND go back through security.. well, that's just not going to happen. To make a long story short, I spent about an hour or so on the phone trying to figure all this out, looking up prices online and trying to find something that left from LA to Korea on the same day. This is how I ended up buying a ticket for Korea (websites don't oft accept Korea credit cards, unfortunately. But I'll be getting the money back, don't worry) and had my bank call me at 7 at night asking if my card was stolen, since I suppose me buying a same day, one-way ticket to a far-away country with someone else's name on it is just a tad suspicious. Bonus points to my bank for catching that one!

So, barring the fact that some of the people I was rather close to are no longer in the country and that many of the other people I know well aren't in the state, I'm doing all right. Just busy with work and keeping occupied. Meeting with someone today to practice Japanese conversation (even though 80% of the Japanese I know are no longer in town, I actually did find someone), and need to mail out some Christmas letters while I'm out. It's pretty fortunate that the campus has just about everything you could possibly need, except good shopping opportunities. The only things around here are markedly expensive places (Urban Outfitters and American Apparel) where you'd only pick up one or two things and not a whole wardrobe. Oh, and no decent grocery shopping. Convenience stores are your only choice. Not my problem since I don't live on campus, but it is kinda inconvenient.

Tomorrow, I'm going to a Korean/Taiwanese going away/Christmas party after work. Should be fun.. I'm likely to be only one of about 2 Americans, but that's no problem. Of course, I speak neither Mandarin nor Korean.. hmm.. At least they all speak at least decent English.

Friday.. I don't think I have any plans. If I do, someone should really remind me so I don't blow them off on accident. If I am free, then I need to make plans so I can not be free. That's important, you know. Starting Monday is enforced closure on the university's part for a week, so I'll have my whole week of winter vacation before coming back in after New Years! I also have Christmas and a birthday somewhere in there, all on break (kinda convenient, huh?), but plans are kinda sketchy (even if I do already know I will be doing things). I think I'll be doing a combo birthday party thing with the Taiwanese girl who's having the party tomorrow, since our birthdays are so close.

Anyway, I should get back to work. Here for a few more hours, and then off to sprachen der Japonese.

OH, and yes, I'm going to Korea over Spring break for about 8 days. I'll let you know the dates when I have them (should be within the next month). Now if only I can fit Taiwan in there somewhere, I'd be set...
School on 12.19.07 @ 10:01 AM JST [link]


Friday, December 14th

[At Work] You really do learn by teaching

Current Sounds: PGSM - Yakusoku

I'm tired. Not like "Gar, I want to sleeeeeeeep" tired, but more the "Hmm, I certainly wish I slept more last night, but it's having little effect on my day as a whole". So basically, I'm not really tired, but I say it all the time, so I kinda figure I should keep it up. Totally makes sense, I know.

So, last night I finally got all my PC parts in and built a new pc. It's amazing how you can have a bunch of boxes full of pieces and within 5 hours have a fully functioning PC running an operating system and serving up files on your network. Most of all, it was a really informative experience for me as I've never officially built a PC from scratch before (researching and buying every part then putting it all together into something that works). Sure, I've changed nearly every single part on one of my computers at one time or another, but that was with reference to other parts. This is from start to finish. Now the real question, though, is why I decided to build a new PC when I have a fully functioning, brand new PC (as of June) in my room. Actually, "the learning experience" was only secondary. In truth, I'm lazy; I wanted a media-pc to connect full-time to a TV and watch movies, television, and play games on. I know what you're thinking: Youtube on the tv? Yep.. did that (but I can also watch Youtube movies wirelessly on my iPod, so the thrill's kinda lacking).

My finals are done now, as of yesterday. I think I did pretty well on 75% of them.. the fourth one was.. well.. 'catastrophic' is certainly one way to describe it. I'm sure I passed the class and did decently enough. However, it's definitely not up there with the other classes. Like Japanese? A! So happy. And for my graduation paper that I had to write, I got an S. An S? Yes, I was surprised too (what, exactly, is an S?). Apparently the class was P(ass)/F(ail), but if you do really well and they like your project, they can give an S(uperior). I was pretty surprised, but I can't complain..

From now till Christmas, I'm just coming into work during the days and doing office-stuff, training the new person, that sort of thing. In the mornings/evenings, I'm free and going to probably be meeting up with whatever Japanese people I can find who are still in town to practice speaking. Pretty exciting, I know.. how do I manage? This weekend, two students from the school I work at will be staying at my house for a day or so until their flights (both get back tonight, one leaves Sunday and one leaves Monday). They didn't have any place to stay, so I volunteered. This means, though, that I need to clean as soon as I get back from work, and I assure you that my room is quite on the unclean side due to building a computer last night. Screws, PCI-covers, FDD cables, oh my!

Spending alot of time with people not from America has turned out to introduce me to alot of different experiences involving, ironically enough, America. There's so much I don't bother to deal with and take for granted. But for people who don't live here, it's all so different and they don't always know where/how to get the information. I've learned quite a bit about lease laws, car ownership, how to break a lease (and minimize the money you owe), steps in suing people, and other things I never really thought I needed to know. I've also had to go meet with landlords and discuss said lease problems, call electric companies and argue about a bill.. those sorts of things. All in the line of duty as a Lab Monitor (well.. technically, no, as I was off the clock and these were personal favors.. but same thing, right?).

I should get back to what I'm doing (burning 20 copies of 2 cds, 40 total). I'm sure I'll write again relatively soon.. I'm here all next week, and I get bored easily.
School on 12.14.07 @ 09:03 AM JST [link]


Tuesday, December 11th

Almost there..!


Current Sounds: Ai Otsuka - Sakuranbo

Ironically enough, I worry more on the days when I don't have finals than when I do. I suspect it's because by the time I'm finally sitting down in front of the test.. there's nothing more I can do. I either will do well or I won't, but there's nothing else I can do to affect the outcome. However, in the days leading up to the test, every moment I waste is a moment that I could be studying, ideally impacting my grade for the better.

So.. yeah. In short, two more finals down, one more to go on Thursday. And then.. I'm DONE! Well, until next semester, which will be Japanese-ful. I'm still not 100% certain 9th-13th century Japanese is exactly a good idea, but hey.. not the first time I've had patently bad ideas! Certainly won't be the last. But at least I can feel awesome about it in the mean time.

I'll also start training the new person for the place I work at in the next week, should be exciting. And then in early January.. placement testing! Gotta love it.

I don't really have a whole lot to talk about right now, just kinda felt like rambling. I'm sure I'll write something totally pointlessly depressing in a few days or so after some of my close friends return to their countries, but in the mean time.. eh, just keep on going. As a bonus for actually reading, though, I've finally attached photos from Las Vegas, London, and what I was doing this weekend instead of studying for my finals! Click on "more.." to see the action.

Mmm.. Vegas. By the way, that's Facebook you'll be accessing there, though anything else that leads to my profile should be eerily blocked (I'm paranoid.. note the lack of ever using my last name). I don't think the world at large needs to know where I work, who my friends are, and what classes I'm taking. So silly..
Jason on 12.11.07 @ 07:06 PM JST [more..]


Monday, December 10th

[At Work] Where did I go??


So.. what's been up? Just been kinda busy as of late and haven't really felt up to writing a whole lot. As it stands, I haven't written in over a month. SO! What's happened in that month? Let's see what I can remember.

I celebrated Thanksgiving with two students from the school (the Korean and Japanese girls), I went to Las Vegas (over a weekend.. lots of fun), I went to a closing ceremony for the school (had to get all dressed up.. yes, I was adorable), took my Japanese final, wrote a hideously long paper, have two finals tomorrow and one more on Thursday. Gaaah. I'm tired. Technically work's done now, but I'm still coming in over the next few weeks during winter break to do assorted office work and stuff that's hard to get done while students are here. It's really strange to be in the building and only see staff and some teachers, especially strange to be in the lab with no one here. At least I have my nice little Christmas tree right beside me to keep me company.. with flashing lights, at that.

Now, I just need to make plans for the following semester, and get all the annoying stuff out of the way. Need to see two different people to get paperwork stamped and signed today to make sure I can graduate in May. Next semester's going to be my last one.. and pretty much chock-full of Japanese classes (all 5 are Japanese, actually.. and everyone is focusing on the language. Lovely). Need to start my visa stuff sometime in the next month or so in order to actually work in Japan, and ideally finalize the details of my working there. Too much...!

Oh.. and in January, I'm also going to start planning my trip to Korea (over spring break, should be there for about 8 days). Exciting, huh? I bet you're jealous.

Out of all the job functions I perform here, I suppose one of my least favorite would be administrative stuff. This morning, I had to go over my coworker's and my class schedules and try to fill in the holes for when we need workers to work in the lab. It's not so much a problem of getting enough hours or filling enough people, but more so that finding the people to fill the times gets tricky. I hate this stupid Excel spread sheet around now. Obviously, the times that are popular for the English school to provide classes are, SHOCK, times that it's popular for us university students to take classes. I also try to be fair and spread the hours out evenly, and to make sure people don't come in for only 30 minutes.. it's a waste. But.. eh, you do what you can.

If anything, administrative skills work out to being valuable, and it's not the first time I've served as manager and organizer for a small institution (I also did this in Japan at the school I worked at). But.. not exactly my cup of tea. At least it sounds good on a resume, though.

It also means that I serve as the Senior Lab Monitor. Haha! Feel the awesomeness. I'm climbing up the ladder of success..

So.. yeah. I'm tired.. been terribly busy as of late, and it's going to be even busier this week. But after that, just going to be here at work, doing office stuff, and generally trying to relax for winterbreak (due to work, I'll have a full week or so of actual 'vacation'.. but it's okay).

I'm gonna get running.. gotta meet with some advisors within the next hour or so, then study for exams tonight. I'm sure I'll be around soon.
School on 12.10.07 @ 12:03 PM JST [link]




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Infonography...
Name:Jason
Age:24
Born:12-30
Location:Arizona


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Location: Japan
Doing: English Teacher
Upcoming: Travel!

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